disorder_heaven | Magic Hunt at MFing Aokigahara

The fact that Urushihara had a keen eye for patterns and trends was one of his less appreciated skills. As one of the war generals in Demon King Satan's army, it made his division highly feared and nearly unstoppable.

Here, it had gotten him something more along the lines of a snarky comment from Ashiya. "About time," or something like that. Hard to tell. Urushihara hadn't really been listening.

Either way, upon Urushihara's elaboration regarding the Suicide Forest, Ashiya had grown more and more uncertain. Eventually comments about warning signs and body sweeps deteriorated into snide remarks about cell phones failing to work and the pitch blackness that came with noon.

A bowl of miso soup full of something-whatever beta took care of the bitching, but Ashiya managed to come out of the bathroom just long enough to lob a thick volume of Maou's favourite manga at the back of Urushihara's head. So, when Maou returned home from his long, hard day at MgRonald's, it would be to the sight of Urushihara on the ground and Ashiya in the bathroom groaning dramatically.

Just another day at the Devil's Castle.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

disorder_heaven

Urushihara swallowed hard, tears in his eyes.

"Ma-an, fuck you..."

There was no real malice behind it. Mostly because it was hard to be intimidating when you'd just choked on a single grain of rice.

From:

mickeyd_emon

Maou sent a why tho look across the table. "I did say to not inhale it . . ."

His expression could have been mistaken for concern, but it seemed more like mild consternation. If his subordinate was going to choke, Maou didn't want it to be on rice.

From:

disorder_heaven

"Shuddup. I live with Ashiya. If you don't eat fast, you don't eat."

And that was just when Urushihara got called to the table to begin with. He didn't doubt that he'd missed many meals.

From:

mickeyd_emon

"Point," Maou mumbled around a mouthful of rice. He swallowed and continued airily, tossing a compromise up in the air.

"I'll see if I can't get Ashiya to budge the budget a bit for meat. Considerin' I've tried before, no promises."

From:

disorder_heaven

"Worse comes to worse I can always buy some online."

Ashiya would neeever have to know.

From:

mickeyd_emon

Eyes lowered, Maou pointed his chopsticks at Urushihara. "N--" He fumbled them and lifted his left hand to seriously point instead.

"No." Maou finally said. His tone was like that of an owner reprimanding a dog. "Next thing you know the doorbell rings an' your legs're asleep again. You'd be boned."

From:

disorder_heaven

"Ugh, man, you guys don't let me do anything."

Then again, one did have to wonder why Urushihara bothered buying games for his PS Vita. Ashiya had a nasty tendency to hide the damn console, anyway.

From:

mickeyd_emon

"Come up with better ideas, and I'll consider 'em," Maou said, nearly noncommittal. A beat later, he fixed Urushihara with a grimace. "No, really. Please do. I'd like t' have this more often too, y'know."

From:

disorder_heaven

"Hackin', then," Urushihara chimed in a sing-song voice. "I'll get us an online account, proxy myself into some shit, convert, and there we go."

He would think of something, but chances were high that even if Maou didn't disregard them, Ashiya would.

From:

mickeyd_emon

"Uh . . ." Maou stared a moment, lost. "Y'know, you bein' a whiz at this stuff doesn't make any o' that not gibberish."

From:

disorder_heaven

"Use internet, get money."

Maybe if he dumbed it down that much, Maou would let it slide. If worse came to worse, at least he was still technically Maou's dependent.

From:

mickeyd_emon

"So theft." Maou was not impressed. "You gonna get caught?"

From:

disorder_heaven

"Have I gotten caught yet?" Urushihara's face indicated neither offense nor concern.

From:

mickeyd_emon

"No, but we shouldn't risk it unless we need it. I'd rather not you get carted off in cuffs." Maou shrugged. "Just take it easy on the creative money making."

Yes, that was indeed permission to break the law. In small amounts.

From:

disorder_heaven

"Man, I can't do anything, can I?" Urushihara let out a long, drawn-out sigh. "Can't leave the house but I can't do anything from inside the house, either. So then I get yelled at for sitting around doing nothing. Or literally anything else."

He gave Maou a pathetic, miserable look.

"What am I allowed to do, man?"

From:

mickeyd_emon

"You can play your games from time t' time. Net shop. Do your computer thing," Maou said plainly, as if Ashiya didn't try to stop all of the above most of the time. His face scrunched up as he struggled to come up with more options.

"You could . . . blog?"

From:

disorder_heaven

"Yeah, blog. "Demon General / Fallen Angel Mercenary for Hire. Will accept pizza, Jungle.co credit, and any Earth denomination." That'll go over well."

He snorted and flopped a piece of meat off the grill and directly into the saucer of liquid, where not enough remained for it to actually splash. Then he popped it into his mouth with his fingers.

From:

mickeyd_emon

"Nah, I meant like . . . a web diary. Talk about your day an' feelings 'n junk." Maou spoke around a mouthful of rice as he continued, "Chi said it's all the rage with the kids these days. But hey, your idea's good too."

For getting a following of Dark'ness Dementias, anyway.

From:

disorder_heaven

"I don't do anything most days. Wake up, find food, fuck around on the web, and go back to sleep. I'm not allowed to leave our one-room apartment. How much interesting shit do you think happens in one day?"

He scoffed, tapping a fingertip into a droplet of sauce on the table and sticking it into his mouth.

From:

mickeyd_emon

"I dunno, Ashiya can make things pretty interesting." Maou stopped himself and grimaced. "Yeah no, point."

His chopsticks reached for the last strip of beef on his side of the grill, and Maou shrugged. "We could have more days like this, when we can afford it."

Well, maybe not exactly like this day.

From:

disorder_heaven

"More trips out would be nice," Urushihara agreed, perhaps a little bitterly. "This whole "caged bird" bit isn't really working out for me. Someday you're gonna come home from work and I'm not gonna be there~"

The last few words were spoken in sing-song.

From:

mickeyd_emon

Maou's head snapped up in surprise. After a moment of staring, his eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"You wouldn't."

From:

disorder_heaven

"You'll never know, will you?"

From:

mickeyd_emon

"I'd sure as Hell notice." Maou raised his meat to his mouth, slowly, without breaking eye contact, then chewed thoughtfully. There was no threat, but his thoughts were basically, Bitch u better not.